How to not suck at dating

October 5, 2017

We got some great “how to not suck at dating” tips from internationally acclaimed dating coach and relationship expert, Diana Mandell. Let’s be honest we could use it, especially in a new city! We always seem to run into problems because we spend all day everyday together (as you guys know) and then go out and end up just talking with each other… Diana has come to our rescue. So, we wanted to share her wisdom with y’all. (That’s right, we say y’all now.)

Top 5 mistakes commonly made on a first date?
-Not confirming the date 24 hours in advance to lessen the amount of no shows or being canceled on right before you’re supposed to meet up. 
-Showing up late to the date. 
-Not asking questions. In order to get a clear idea of whether you want to go out with the person again, you’re going to have to ask questions to get to know them better. 
-Talking negatively about your career. It’s a really big turn off to hear how much someone absolutely hates what they do all day, 5 days a week. 
-Trying too hard. Relax and be yourself. The interaction should be effortless and natural. 
How to attract a person when out by yourself? What if you’re with another person? (We have found it immensely difficult to meet people when we go out together.) 
The easiest way to attract someone is to approach them and have a conversation to see whether there is a connection. Lead with confidence and genuineness. 
Going out with another person can complicate the situation. Guys often feel intimidated enough going up to one woman let alone two. What ends up happening is a guy will either not approach at all or he will ask his buddy to do him a solid to entertain your friend while he speaks with you. 
Women often complain about the quality of guys who approach them. We all know how unfortunate those situations can be! Instead, don’t be afraid to approach guys. You and your friend(s) should approach a group of two or more guys and enjoy yourself. This way you can ensure you have more guys to speak to and which means more opportunity to potentially connect with someone. 
Are there any body signals you can do to attract a person? 
There is open and closed body language. In order to attract someone, you want to have open body language. When you appear relaxed, your body language becomes a lot more inviting and open. Your arms should not be crossed, you should sit up straight, lean back, maintain good eye contact and smile. 
Affordable date ideas?
There are countless things you can do that cost little or no money. You could go on a hike, a bike ride or take a walk in a park. There are museums which either free or have a small admission fee. You can share a pizza in a fun neighborhood. Go to a gallery and talk to someone about the paintings or sculpture you’re looking at. You can go to the beach too. 

 How to convey your needs upfront (as to not waste time) but also not sound like a psychopath. (i.e. children, family etc.) How soon is too soon to bring up these topics? 

Ask questions to subtly find out whether the two of you are in sync or not relating to your wants and needs. Stating your wants and needs to another person is never a good idea as you come off as demanding and, let’s face it, overbearing and scary. 
For example: 
If it’s important to you to be with someone who is ambitious and you’re on a date with someone who is unemployed and not actively looking for a position- probably not the best choice for you. 
If you’re looking for someone who is mature and over the party scene and you’re on a date with someone who just told you a very detailed story about how drunk they got last weekend- probably not the best choice for you. 
How to text the person you like without sounding too forward or too shy? 
Depending on how well you know the person, that will dictate what you say in the text. Assuming you haven’t already been on a date yet but you would like to, it’s important to be confident without being cocky. You want to let your interest be known. You don’t need to share that you fantasize about this person in fifteen minute intervals. 
Here’s a great example text: We should go out Saturday night, I know a great Japanese place.
Some people may say this is a bit of a bold move. That’s the point! You shouldn’t be afraid to go after what you want. People aren’t mind readers, you need to show interest in order to get receive reciprocation. 

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1 Comment

  • Reply mahryska October 9, 2017 at 6:09 pm

    great tips!!
    kisses from the sandpit ❤︎

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